NO is about boundaries

In any ceremony we are separating from everyday life for a particular time and purpose. When we enter a church, crematorium, hall or garden we are making a transition into ‘sacred space’. The beginning of the ceremony is marked in such a way that everyone knows it has begun.

HELLO is about opening up

In a funeral service those who come are welcomed and those who are unable to attend are remembered. This is also the time when people are informed about what is going to happen and how they might contribute.

THANK YOU is about gratitude and acknowledging feelings

A funeral elicits the expression of grief and loss. It also includes appreciating, valuing and giving thanks for the life of the deceased.

GOODBYE is about moving on

Here we think about being complete and realising how life will be different. Is there anything that needs to be said to the body of the deceased before the opportunity goes?

PLEASE is about vision and cooperating

Thoughts may turn to what the deceased wanted for his life; what was her sense of purpose, her dream? And if that purpose is not yet fulfilled, what cooperation would now help to bring that about?

SORRY is about taking responsibility and finding release

Relationships are seldom altogether smooth. There needs to be time to acknowledge with love the hurts and difficulties that have arisen. Sometimes after a death it may be easier to take responsibility for our part in conflicts and tensions, and the committal can be a time of release.

YES is about accepting what is

Death is inevitable. Accepting death, our own and others’, is part of surrendering to the natural processes of grief and life.


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